


scar and leave me

by Foxhunter342



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Coming Out, Hurt, M/M, possible homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 03:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9415400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxhunter342/pseuds/Foxhunter342
Summary: I’m a ballplayer, not a fucking therapist, Anthony thinks stepping out of the cab, telling the driver to keep the change.I didn’t sign up for this.





	

**Author's Note:**

> title from Ed Sheeran's sunburn.
> 
> Disclaimer: Anthony is a lot of an asshole.

_I’m Sorry. I Didn’t Want You to Find Out Like That._

Anthony Rizzo found the note scrawled messily in his locker. He rolled his eyes and crumpled the note in his pocket after reading it. That was a problem for later. Right now he had a headache and a backache because maybe Addi doesn’t have to make such a lopsided throw next time??

They lost, regardless. After all that shit they had a day game tomorrow so wasn’t that great. Anthony pulled off his uni and threw on some sweats, skipping the shower. There was a shower in his hotel room, anyways.

~

Anthony’s back felt no better in the taxi, when of course the cabby recognized him and tried relentlessly to spark a conversation about the game he didn’t want to relive. _Should have just walked_ , he thinks after answering for a third time, no he doesn’t think Scherzer was trying to hit him, and yep, that called strike in the fourth was definitely outside.

DC traffic makes a ten minute drive take thirty, but at least about halfway through the driver caught on that Anthony wasn’t really in the mood for a chat. Of course that’s when Anthony makes the mistake of checking his phone.

_Did you see my note!_

_*?_

_Autocorrect sorry._

**Missed Calls (4)**

_Do you want to talk?_

**Missed Call (1)**

_I am really sorry._

_I understand if you don’t want to talk, I get that this is a lo-_

Anthony locks his phone again. Notifications can wait.

_I’m a ballplayer, not a fucking therapist,_ Anthony thinks stepping out of the cab, telling the driver to keep the change.

_I didn’t sign up for this._

~

Hotel beds are uncomfortable. At least, that’s what Anthony tells himself to justify getting up at 2am the morning before a day game. He walks over to his phone and unlocks it without reading the notifications. Might as well get this over with. The line rings a few times before the other side picks up and he hears breathing. Anthony’s mouth goes dry as he waits. Seconds pass before the voice coughs and begins to speak,

“Anthony?”

Silence.

“So about, um.. earlier… I’m really sorry for… I just wanted to tell you that, the text from earlier wasn’t for you. I mean you obviously know that by now but… I mean I guess, what I said earlier, I meant it. I’m really sorry. I can’t-”

“Babe is that Anthony?”

A scratching sound comes through the speaker and the sound gets muffled so Anthony can only make out a few words.

“... why… apologizing … let me …”

A deeper voice comes on the line. “Yo Anthony? Hey sorry about that pitch today man I know Max wasn’t trying to-”

“I’m fine.” Anthony barks, his teeth gritted. “I called to talk to Kris.”

He hears protest in the background but the voice on the phone only seems to get closer. “Yeah okay, you can talk to him. But he’s not fucking apologizing any more you hear me? That text you got today was meant for me; it was just a mistake. He’s been through enough apologizing and shit and you’re not going to make-”

“Bryce!” Kris’s voice snaps in the background. “Give me the phone.”

The line is muffled again and Anthony hears Kris clear his throat.

“Sorry about that.” Realizing after a moment that Anthony isn’t responding he continues. “Anthony I swear that text was a mistake and I was going to tell you about...everything. I just needed time. I was just... scared.”

Suddenly a wave of emotions all crash down on Anthony at once. He’s tired and confused and suddenly very angry “When?”

Kris pauses. “Huh?”

“When did you plan on telling me that you were fucking Bryce fucking Harper?” He spits.

Kris’s voice cracks, “we’re not-”

A small voice at the back of his head is warning Anthony to calm down, reminding him what’s going on but the haze of confusion and anger drowns it out. Anthony is still fuming.

“Was it before or after you decided to let me know, oh yeah by the way, you’re. Fucking. Gay. Was I just supposed to wait and figure it out with the rest of baseball, when someone leaks photos of you two making out outside of Nats park??”

Kris’s tone is more even, trying to conceal the hurt in his voice. “Anthony, please calm down. Maybe this isn’t the best time to have this discussion, it’s really late and-”

But Anthony is hurt too. Hurt and confused. And all he wants to do now is make Kris hurt more.

“Oh right I’m sure you both have some pretty important things to be doing right about now” the sarcasm in his voice is dripping with cruelty, but Anthony can’t help himself. “Or excuse me, _Bryce_ has a pretty important _person_ to be doing right now. Because he fucks you, right?”

And the moment the last word escapes his lips, Anthony wants to take it back. To apologize. To start over. He opens his mouth to, but before he can, Kris responds so softly it’s barely there. A whisper.

“Anthony...”

And the plea stabs him like a dagger. He can hear every ounce of pain, disappointment, and fear in Kris’s voice. Pain that courses through Anthony’s heart, disappointment that echoes in his mind, and fear that he shuts his eyes from, only to imagine the way Kris’s own eyes might be crinkling and tearing up. He fucking hates himself. Because what kind of monster-

“Kris I-”

The line muffles and Bryce’s voice cuts him off, “Fuck you.”

His voice is sharp and dripping with anger, Anthony realizes as he feels a sharp pain in his chest, how his voice must have sounded to Kris. “You fucking hurt him again and I hurt you. I don’t care who you are.”

He murmurs something to Kris Anthony can’t make out, then his voice returns.

“You know what the sad part is?” He doesn’t wait for a reply. “When Kris realized he accidentally sent you that text, he called me to calm me down. _I_ was the one freaking out, and he calmed _me_ down. _Don’t worry_ , he told me. _‘Anthony’s my best friend. He’ll understand’._ ” Bryce’s voice is full of disgust. “You’re no better than the rest of them.”

And with that, the call drops. Anthony drops his phone as he sinks to the floor, his head in his hands. He deserved that. He deserved all of that and more.

In his haze of confusion and self-pity he stares down at his hands and feels himself begin to doze off. He doesn’t care that he didn’t set an alarm for tomorrow and he’ll probably oversleep. He doesn’t care that Kris wouldn’t call him like usual to make sure he got up on time.

He deserves it all, Anthony thinks again, and that’s how he falls asleep. Slumped in a hotel room corner with pain in his heart and an apology on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Kris and Bryce's relationship is undefined; they may be fucking or just friends. Reader's discretion. 
> 
> Hehe lots of WIPs rn bear with me guys. Feedback encouraged!


End file.
